An Introduction

Before I can proceed, I deem it necessary to provide you with a vague background on myself and my school.

-I’m a girl
-I’m a college freshman
-I attend a small private liberal arts school of 3,000 undergraduates
-I’m located in Texas
-The only thing I believe that qualifies me to write a blog is my profound aptitude for making really awful decisions

Disclaimer: Take from this what you will. It’s half diary, half entertainment but it’s as raw my dining hall fried chicken. Names and clubs have been changed for obvious reasons. I’m not always eloquent or witty so dull days are to be expected but I hope you enjoy.

why you won’t listen to me (but probably should)

You could buy a College Survival Guide at your local bookstore, and maybe even that awkward section of Walmart next to “Dante’s Bedroom Inferno.” You’ll get countless advice from aunts, uncles, that friend of the family whose name you can never remember. You can be inspired by all the god damn motivational posters in your high school cafeteria featuring pictures of random reptiles or bad 80’s geometric art.

It’s bullshit.

Nothing can prepare you for the emotionally and physically taxing journey of being a college freshman. Nothing will prepare you for the hookups, hangovers, exams (yeah, schools involved), seemingly charming upperclassman, greeks, geeks, drugs, lies, cops, roommates, cafeteria, athletes, and the like. Especially not this blog.

It’s bullshit.

But it’s good bullshit, and it’s my bullshit. And if you look past my pretentious use of the word “explicate” and occasional verb-agreement errors, you’ll find a uncensored, self-deprecating documentation of one college freshman’s story through the concentration of hormones and apple products that we lovingly refer to as college.

This is my life as a College Fuckup.